Chapter 31

I woke up that morning, and everything was quiet. I was facing Paul and he was sleeping soundly. I stretched and yawned, deciding to just cuddle with Paul for a while. I moved closer to him and he must have felt me because he moved closer as well as put his arms tighter around me. I shut my eyes and just breathed in the new day. I thought about everything that had happened this year…Sgt. Pepper was an enormous break through for the boys, Yoko Ono, the mysterious Japanese woman stocked Paul, they had experienced with LSD, they wanted to buy an island, I joined my old band for a concert….a ton of things had happened. And through everything Paul was by my side and me by his---every step of the way.
Right now we were in Wales with the Maharishi, and honestly, I was bored out of my mind. As I mentioned before, I was never into this type of thing—it was one of the things about George, when I was dating him that I wasn’t so sure about. However, it was something Paul had wanted to do, along with his mates, so I accompanied him.
“Love are you awake?” I heard Paul whisper. I opened my eyes and smiled.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Morning,” Paul yawned and stretched, “How long ‘ave you been up?”
“Not long,” I told him, “Maybe five minutes or so,”
“I see,”
“So what’s on the agenda for today?” I asked.
“Err; I think we’re going to go to another lecture this afternoon,”
“Oh,” I said unenthused. Paul smiled.
“Not into it aye?” he asked. I looked up at him and shrugged.
“Are you?” I asked, “I mean, really?”
“I don’t know,” Paul said with a smile, “It’s all interesting, but whether I believe in it—that’s a different story,” he said and I felt a huge relief sweep over me, “You know, I believe in God—not Buddha and Krishna or whatever,”
“Exactly why it’s so strange,” I said, “And on top of that, there’s all that meditation…” I finished making a face, and Paul laughed.
“Yeah, to be honest, I don’t think I can really do it,”
“What?” I asked him smiling, because he always told me he could. He chuckled,
“Yeah, we have these times, you know, when we’re just supposed to sit and meditate you know--and we--the lads and I--all sit round like pretzels and just clear our minds,” he said bulging his eyes and laughing, “—supposedly. I don’t know about the others, but I just sit there thinking about other things with me eyes closed,” he laughed again and shook his head, “I just can’t do it,”
“You’re so funny,” I said laughing along with him. He smiled.
“Yeah well,” he shrugged.
“You know, it’s a relief to know you’re not so much into this, I was kinda scared really, but then--honestly, this stuff doesn’t seem like you, and at all the seminar’s so far, you seem to just stare off in space, while the others are all huddled around his knees, soaking in every word he has to say,” Paul laughed.
“Love, I didn’t know you didn’t want me into this?” I shrugged.
“Well, it’d be weird. I believe in God, not that rubbish, and if you did, what about our kids? And our lives from here on out?” Paul smiled and kissed me.
“Well there’s no need to fret--you’re right, I’m not really into this…just don’t tell the others?” he asked and I smiled.
“I won’t tell them,”
“Ta love,” he said sitting up, “I’m going to go shower,”
“Alright,” I said still laying down. He looked down at me and smiled.
“I’m going to go shower,” he said again and I giggled.
“I heard you,” I said.
“Yes, but I don’t think you get it, I’m…going…to….go-” he started slowly. I laughed again and hit him with the pillow, causing him to laugh.
“I get it,” I said still laughing.
“Alright then, come ‘ead,” he said standing and pulling me up with him. We took our shower and after getting ready, walked out to the common room, where George, Pattie, Ringo, and John, were already seated.
“Aye, it’s about time!” John smiled as we walked into the room. I laughed.
“Yeah well, we were tired,” I said sitting next to Paul at the table, John grinning wickedly. We ignored him.
“Cornflakes?” Paul asked me smiling. I nodded and he poured me a bowl as well as himself, “How long has everybody been up?” he asked sitting down next to me.
“About an hour and a half,” Ringo replied and Paul nodded.
“The seminar is in a half hour,” George told Paul.
“Are you going to be ready?” John asked him and Paul frowned.
“What are you on about? I am ready,” he said and the others snickered.
“That’s what you always say, Paulie, and you’re still late,”
“Ah, sod off,” Paul said shaking his head and smiling. I laughed to myself as the phone in the other room began ringing. I looked up, and everybody was too busy talking to answer. It rang, and rang, and rang.
“I suppose someone should get that aye?” Paul said laughing because he remained seated. I rolled my eyes and stood up.
“Well don’t everyone hurry at once,” I said and they laughed.
“Thanks love,” Paul said smiling. I walked into the other room and picked up the phone. It was someone I didn’t know.
“Hello, this is Peter Brown,” the man said, “Is there a Beatle I can talk to? This is urgent,”
“Uh, yeah, hold on,” I said into the receiver. I set the phone down and went back into the room with the laughing Beatles.
“Hey Paul, it’s a Peter Brown?” I asked not sure if he knew him. Looking confused Paul nodded and stood up.
“Yeah, alright, thanks,” he said kissing me as he walked past, “Wonder what he wants,” he muttered to himself. He went into the room and I returned to my spot at the table, finishing my cereal. When I finished Paul emerged from the room slowly, his face white as a ghost.
“What’s up Macca?” John asked turning around to look at him. Paul slowly lifted his gaze from the floor to look at John. Without saying anything, he looked at the rest of us, and as he blinked a few times he itched his head.
“Paul?” I asked because he wasn’t speaking.
“Bloody hell Paul, you’re acting like someone just died!” John laughed and with that Paul shot a glance at him and just stared. John’s smile faded slowly.
“Err, uh,” Paul started rubbing his brow. I could tell something was wrong so I walked over to him and took his hand. He looked over at me and smiled the smallest smile there was and squeezed my hand.
“Paul, what’s going on? What did he say?” I asked as everyone was staring at him now.
“I’m deeply disturbed,” Paul said shaking his head.
“Shit Paul, what happened?!” John asked again.
“Yeah, come ‘ead Paul, spit it out,” George agreed.
“Err--Brian’s dead,” Paul finally said and the room went into an eerie silence. Those two words, ‘Brian’s Dead’ rang throughout the entire room.
“You’re pulling me hook,” John said cynically with a giggle. Paul shook his head.
“No, John, I’m not. I wouldn’t joke about this,” he said and John’s face went still.
“How? I mean, when?” George asked. Paul shrugged.
“All he said was that they found his—his,” Paul paused for a second and I rubbed his hand in comfort, “his dead body this morning…in his apartment,”
“Fuck!” John shouted standing up and I flinched back. Paul closed his eyes.
“They think he committed suicide,” he said.
“Suicide?” I asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, they said he ingested too many pain killers, sleeping pills, all that stuff he used to take,”
“Bloody hell,” John said angry, “We’ve fuckin’ had it! We’re all done for now!” he yelled and left the room. I felt so bad for him…he had so many close people die.
“This is horrifying,” George said shaking his head.
“I can’t believe he’d do that? I thought he was happy,” Ringo chimed in. Paul shrugged.
“Apparently he wasn’t….” he said.
“What are you guys going to do? I mean,” I stopped.
“Well for now, we’ve got a press conference to go to,” Paul answered, “Then, I suppose we’ll head back to London,” he finished with a sigh.
“What press conference is this?” George asked surprised.
“Peter said we’ve got to give a short conference—you know, explaining why we are leaving back to London,” Paul explained. George and Ringo nodded, “I suppose I’ll get John,” he said letting go of my hand and walking over to John’s room. He knocked and walked in, shutting the door behind him. I just stood there not knowing what to say.
“I’m so sorry you guys,” I said softly. George smiled and walked over to me, giving me a hug.
“Ah, love, it’s not your fault….death happens, it’s just too bad it was Brian’s time,” he said and I smiled as Paul walked out of John’s room. George turned to face him and Paul glanced between the two of us quickly.
“He’s coming out,” he told us, and George moved away from me, “He wants to talk to the Maharishi first,”
“I think that’s a good idea,” George replied as John stepped out of the room. He didn’t seem to be angry anymore, but more hurt. Paul took my hand and we walked into our room, Paul shutting the door behind us.
“Paul, I’m so sorry,” I said walking over to him and hugging him. He held onto me tight and nuzzled his head in my neck.
“Thanks love,” he said and after standing there for a while he pulled back, “I can’t believe he’s dead…..” he said shaking his head. I touched his face lightly and tried to smile, thankfully, getting a smile out of him, “I’m glad you’re here love,” he said kissing me. We packed our stuff and in silence we all headed out to visit the Maharishi one last time before heading home. Paul, me, Cyn, Pattie, and Ringo, just stood as John and George asked him what we should do. Strangely, he told them all to just forget about it, be happy, and to smile. So, they did it as best they could. The press conference was rather awkward, the death of Brian by this time was really starting to soak in and so there really wasn’t much to say. We all arrived back to London and to much of the Beatles dismay they were not allowed at the funeral, due to attracting audience purposes. Right away on September 1st, all the Beatles met at Paul and my house to discuss their future. I wasn’t going to stay for it, because it was Beatles’ business, but Paul had asked me too, so I joined in—mostly just listening. It was also here, that the Beatles had found out that Brian was debating selling their group. John was the first to speak.
“He was going to sell us down the river for a crap half million!” he said, “Was he out of his mind?”
“Without Brian, we’re dead,” George said in response. Paul shook his head,
“No we’re not. We just have to get on with it. We’ll have to delegate,” he said and the other Beatles just sort of mumbled under their breath, convinced they were doomed without Brian. Paul, like always, was the optimistic one.
“Maybe we need some space,” George suggested, “Let’s go to India,” Before Brian died, The Beatles had every intention of flying to the foothills of the Himalayas, to immerse themselves in months of meditation. Paul was hesitant to this idea before, and even more so now.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea George,” he said.
“Why not?,” John asked, obviously agreeing with George.
“Well if we were to leave now, it might seem a bit flaky to the rest of the world. We’d be gone for months, and this is a very crucial time—now’s when we really need to get a grip on things,” he told them and I agreed with him 100%.
“There would be nothing flakey about it Paul;” George said in return, “Their culture is different from ours. They’re deeper and know things on a different philosophical level.” He said and Paul rolled his eyes almost unnoticeably. George continued, getting more enthused, “The yogis were practically magic! They could fly! They could read your mind! Learning all this will surely help us enormously in business,”
“Yeah, that’s what we need. Learning how to read people’s minds, so’s we can tell if we’re being ripped off,” John said.
“I think Paul’s right,” Ringo said finally and Paul nodded.
“We can’t just disappear now lads, we have to show them we’re fine without Brian, you know. If we run off to India, we’ll look like we’re trying to escape,” Paul said. George shook his head.
“But we are in a sense--we’re trying to escape from the pain of Brian’s death, so we can get back on our feet and focus on what it is we’re going to do next. People will understand that,”
“No they won’t. They’ll think we’re running cuz we’ve got nothing left,” Paul replied getting frustrated, “I’m not saying we’re not ever going to go to India, but I think the best thing for now, is to put it on hold,” he finished and George rolled his eyes.
“What do you think we should do Olivia?” Ringo asked and all eight eyes turned to me. I was surprised.
“Me?” I asked and Paul smiled.
“Yes you, who else?” John said. I sneered at him.
“Well, honestly?”
“Yes, honestly,” George said.
“Um, I’d have to agree with Paul,” I said and Paul smiled again, as George groaned.
“Bah, course she’s gonna agree with him,” George said to John, “He’s her boyfriend,”
“No, that’s not why,” I argued and he looked back to me.
“As much as you guys might want to escape from the pain, as you said George,” I said looking at him, “I think Paul’s right about how people are going to take it. I can personally say, from a fans point of view, since I was one, well, still am—but, you know what I mean,” I said getting flustered, they smiled, “ Anyway, if you just left now, for a couple months?, as a fan, I’d think you were done with everything and that you gave up. No matter what you told the press,”
“See,” Paul said looking at George.
“She’s right,” John sighed, “Paul’s right. The bloody fans are gonna take it the wrong way. We’ll put it on hold,” he said and that was final.
“Next topic,” Paul said, acting as chairman, as he often did, “I say, we continue on with Magical Mystery Tour,” he finished. Paul and I had gone to the Rockies a couple months ago for vacation and Paul wanted to film me walking among the mountains and through the flowers. It was here, he told me, that he came up with this brilliant movie idea called, Magical Mystery Tour. However all they had was the title track and some artistic ideas on paper—otherwise they had no script, they had no actors, they needed more songs, as well as organization. It all melted down to one thing—they needed Brian.
“I agree,” John said to Paul’s idea. Paul smiled.
“I think it’ll be great,” he said and walked over to the phone, “I’m going to call Denis O’Dell and ask him if he’ll produce it.” He said. During this conversation John and Paul would grab the phone from one another saying certain things, ending up asking him to also head Apple Films. As they talked I noticed George just stared off in space and I knew he had his heart set on India. I felt bad for him, but Paul was right about this situation. They had to keep moving—for now. The day continued and the lads all talked until midnight, George brooding the idea of Magical Mystery Tour the whole time. Finally he spoke up.
“I want to go to India,” he said. Paul looked up from the piece of paper he was holding.
“What?” he asked.
“I want to go to India,” George repeated, “I want to go study Hinduism—I can’t wait any longer. Let’s just put the film on hold,”
“Listen, we’re gonna stay here and do the Mystery Tour,” Paul said firmly, “Then we can go to India,”
“Nah, let’s go,” John said setting the paper stuff down. Paul looked up at him surprised.
“Ring? What do you think?” He asked. Ringo shrugged.
“This movie sounds complex, I could go for some relaxation,” he said and Paul rolled his eyes.
“Lads, it won’t do,” Paul tried saying.
“I want to go Paul,” George said, “It’ll be alright, I’m sure,”
“Yeah, who cares about the bloody fans right now? If they can’t understand we are dealing with a big crisis right now, then, we don’t need ‘em,” John said and Paul sighed.
“We can’t,” he argued. I just watched in silence, feeling bad for Paul now—everybody was turning on him.
“Yes we can,” George said. Paul shook his head firmly.
“We’re staying here to finish this, that’s the way it’s gonna be. We’ll go to India when it’s completed,” he said getting angry. George just glared.
“Fine, have it your way, Master Paul,” he snapped. Paul shook his head in frustration.
“What about NEMS? And the staff?” Ringo asked switching the topic. Personally I don’t think he cared what they did either way, “Any changes there?”
“Well, we don’t really know the full situation as far as running NEMS,” Paul said, “As far as we’re concerned, it was Brian’s company. I think we should just keep doing what we have been doing. Eppy appointed everybody and they all know what they’re doing. If it worked for him, it will work for us—at least for right now. There’s no need to rock the boat when we’ve got so much to do,” he said and the group nodded, “Let’s just stick to one thing at a time, shall we?” he finished.
“But what about a manager, Macca?” John said, “Who’s going to do that now?”
“I don’t think we need a manager,” Paul said, “We don’t tour anymore; we’ve always made our own decisions about records and films. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” the others said.
“Alright then,” Paul said nodding, “I think we’re about done for tonight. We’ll finish up Magical Mystery Tour then head out for India,” Everybody agreed, some less willing than others and left for the night. Paul leaned against the door and sighed as the last Beatle departed.
“That was rough,” I said walking over to him. He grabbed me and brought me to him.
“Uhhh,” He complained, “I hope things get better than this,”
“They will,” I said and we went upstairs.
“Do you really agree with me?” he asked as we crawled into bed. I nodded.
“Yes I do. I think you guys need to show the fans, like you said, that you are capable of continuing on,” I said and he nodded.
“Yeah, so why don’t the others get that? I mean, I’m only using the Magical Mystery Tour idea as a project to keep us doing something. It’s a kind a therapy, you know, that will stop us from panicking and make us feel that we are continuing like normal,” he said.
“I know, I agree with you,” I paused, “And it’s not just cuz you’re my boyfriend as George said,” I laughed a little.
“Ugh, he was a right bugger tonight—pissing me off actually,” he said.
“Like I said, it’ll get better—I promise,” I said kissing him one last time before we fell asleep. Sure enough recording sessions for MMT started the next day. Paul had arranged for a huge bus to be painted, according to a drawing he had done. As they recorded such songs as ‘I Am The Walrus’, ‘Fool On The Hill’, and ‘Blue Jay Way’, the bus was being painted it’s psychedelic colors for the film. It really wasn’t that spectacular…all it really had was bright colorful fliers printed to be stuck on the side, carrying the name of MMT. However, the fans almost immediately ripped them off, so poor Mal had to continuously stick on new ones. Paul had visualized this film as being the kind of day out they all remembered from their childhood in Liverpool—now how he got that idea from filming me in the Rockies, I have no idea. We were all out one day doing a bunch of filming, tempers running high everywhere.
“Where’s the script?” Actors all over continuously asked Paul.
“There isn’t one,” he told them.
“What? What are we supposed to do then?”
“It’s a whole bunch of people, fat ones, thin ones, little ones, mad ones, like you get in real life,” he started explaining. I was over a few feet from Paul helping Mal with some touch ups on the bus. I looked at the crowd of actors as they all just stared at Paul. He continued, “It’s what they do, what they talk about, the fun they have, and their eccentricities. You can’t script it—it happens,” he finished frustrated. The crowd rolled their eyes and nodded, all going about their separate ways. Paul shook his head and I walked over to him fiddling around on the camera.
“How’s it going?” I asked. He turned around to look at me and smiled.
“Ah, it’s going,” he said rolling his eyes, “What you up to?”
“Ah, just helping Mal over there,” I said turning towards the bus. Paul nodded,
“Would you do a favor for me love?” he asked me and I nodded.
“Sure, what is it?” I asked and he looked around.
“Would you care to find John and George for me? I’ve seemed to have lost them,” he said. I smiled.
“No problem,”
“Ta,” he said leaning down to kiss me. I smiled and wandered off to find the missing Beatles.
“Hey Olivia,” Neil greeted as I walked past him.
“Hi Neil,” I said, “Having fun?”
“A ton,” he said laughing, “Where are you headed?”
“Um, looking for John and George actually. Paul needs them,” I said and Neil smiled a sly grin.
“They’re in there luv,” he said pointing to a little building behind him.
“Thanks,” I replied smiling.
“Anytime,” he said and continued on his way. I walked up to the building and opened the door to the dark room. I could hear music from down the hall so I made my way down, touching the sides, as to not fall. I made my way in front of a door in which the music seemed to be coming from. I opened it slowly and walked in. I immediately made a face as John turned around.
“Oh, hey luv,” he said. I mustered up a smile and walked towards John, George, and another man—watching a few strippers.
“Hey,” I said slowly.
“Hi Olivia,” George said taking his eyes of the girls only for a moment, then returning his gaze.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked sitting down next to John.
“What’s that face for luv, you’re among friends here!” he snickered as he pointed to the girls on stage. I shook my head and smiled.
“Nice John,” I told him as he laughed, “But I wasn’t a full time stripper, so technically you can’t say that,”
“Ah, sure I can. You did it for a couple days,” he said, “And twice too,”
“Twice?” I asked surprised, “No, I believe I was only a stripper once—which was too much for me,” I said making a face as I looked towards the girls. I turned back to John.
“Yeah she’s right you know,” George said turning to me and smiling, “She was a stripper and a Playboy Bunny,” he corrected John.
“Ah yes, my mistake,” John said laughing with George.
“Thanks guys,” I said rolling my eyes and laughing. I’ll never live those things down with them.
“So what’s up then?” John asked.
“Paul’s looking for you,” I told them, “I was delegated to come find you.”
“Ah, screw Paul. He probably wishes he were here,” John snickered looking at George who smiled. I raised my eyebrows.
“Ah, he better not,” I said.
“Oh come ‘ead love, it’s just natural for a man. These girls are same as you really, just look different, that’s all. There’s no harm in him wanting to see that,” John said. I frowned.
“Um, yeah there is…they aren’t me. And if he has me to—uh, look at; he doesn’t need to look at them. Plus, I know he loves me so he wouldn’t want to anyway,” I told him and he shrugged, “And neither should you two--when you’ve got Cyn and Pattie,”
“Ah, we’re only doing it because we have to pick out the stripper for the show,” George said.
“Stripper for the show?” I asked surprised. Paul had not informed me of this idea. John snickered.
“Yeah, looks like your little Paulie isn’t such an angel after all,” he said and again, I frowned.
“Well, he wants to see you two,” I said and got up and left. I couldn’t believe this! He didn’t need a stripper! I made my way back to him, still messing around on the camera.
“Hey love,” he said as I approached him, “Did you find them?”
“Oh yeah, I found them all right,” I said. He looked confused.
“Are you alright, sweetheart? You seem angry?”
“Well, I am a bit,” I responded.
“Why? What happened?”
“Well, I found John and George in that building over there—auditioning a room full of strippers for this movie!” I said upset. Paul looked around and walked over to me.
“Shh,” Paul said to me and I shook my head.
“No, I’m not going to be quiet. This makes me mad Paul,” I told him, “I’m not one of those girlfriends who allows their boyfriend to watch porn and go to strip clubs…you should know that by now,” I said walking away from him. He ran after me.
“Hold up, love,” he said taking my arm and I pulled away.
“What do you need strippers in the movie for anyway?” I asked him.
“We don’t—it wasn’t my idea love,” he said. I squinted my eyes at him.
“You know, you always have an excuse when I’m mad at you,” he frowned.
“It’s not an excuse Liv’, it’s the truth. John and George wanted them,” he said.
“They told me it was you,”
“Well they’re liars,” he sighed, “Love, if this was my idea, do you really think I’d be out here then? You’d think, I’d be in there auditioning them—if it were my idea,” he said and like always, he had a point.
“That’s true,” I said crossing my arms. Paul walked closer to me and pulled me against his body.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you ahead of time,” he apologized, “I just thought, you know, that you trusted me and wouldn’t think it like this,” he said pulling away and looking sad.
“Yeah, now I feel horrible,” I said rolling my eyes and unfolding my arms putting them around Paul.
“Why?”
“Because, now you don’t think I trust you and all that rubbish—which it is—rubbish, cuz I do trust you,” I told him, “In fact, the guys said that you probably wished that you were in there with them and I said that you have me and love me so you wouldn’t want to.”
“Is that so?” he asked somewhat surprised.
“Yes, see—I do trust you,”
“I know you do, you just like to overreact. That’s all,” he said laughing. I pushed him slightly.
“Hey, I do not. I just jump to the wrong conclusions…but this time, they implied it was you who had this idea, not them—so technically, I didn’t overreact or jump to conclusions. I just believed those morons,”
“Yes, you’ve got a point there,” he said laughing.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make a scene back there,” I said and he smiled.
“Oh, but we’re making a movie, so you ought to make scenes shouldn’t you now?” he asked kidding around and I laughed.
“Thanks,” I said and he smiled.
“No problem love,” he said winking and kissing the top of my head, “So, you said they were coming then?”
“Uh, I think so…I told them you wanted to see them,” I said and he nodded.
“Alright,” he sighed.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Oh nothing really—just stressed out. This whole movie thing is a lot of work, and John and George hate it.” He said, “That’s why I let them have the stripper scene, so they’d at least enjoy themselves a little,”
“How do you know they hate it?”
“They told me. John’s having a fit cuz I’m trying to carry on like Brian didn’t die—but we’ve got to, you know?” I nodded, “I gave John, George, and Ringo little segments to write and John almost had a cow. Him and George grumbled a bit, but figured we owe it to our fans,”
“Oh, well, I think it’ll be great!” I said smiling and he laughed.
“What did you need Mr. High and Mighty?” I heard John say from behind me. Paul smiled.
“There you blokes are,” he said, “I just wanted to run through some of the song sequences,”
“Sounds good,” George said and the three of them went off, leaving me to help around with odds and ends. Filming MMT went on for about a month and a half, not long at all for a movie. My favorite part was the ‘Your Mother Should Know’ finale. Towards the end of filming MMT, The Beatles, including myself, Pattie, Maureen, and Cyn went to a memorial service held for Brian Epstein. It was a really beautiful service, and although I barely knew him, I respected him and heard stories of what a really wonderful man he was. The next day we all attended the premiere of John’s film, How I Won the War, followed by a celebration party. I remember having to ask Paul continuously throughout the film what was being said, because I couldn’t understand a darn word anybody said, except for John—and even he was tough at times. The heavy, heavy English accent with all their slang was very difficult. Later on that month, Paul, myself, Mal, and the camera crew flew to Nice, Italy to film the video for Fool on the Hill. It was quiet funny really, Paul acting like a lunatic, hopping about. Ringo ended up leaving in early December to film a movie called Candy (in which Ringo filmed a sex scene), and Paul and I took time away from everything, to relax at the farm.
“Are you glad to be getting away from all this?” I asked Paul as we parked the car in front of the farm house. He smiled.
“Oh yeah,” he said chuckling and I noticed there was light coming from inside.
“Hey, Paul, did you notice there’s a light on in the house?” I asked afraid a fan might have found out and was camping out. Paul laughed.
“Yeah, I came up here a little earlier today—you know, turn on the heat and get things ready…we are going to be here all month,” he said and I nodded.
“That was a good idea, it’s freezing out here,” I said shivering. He rubbed on my arms for a moment.
“Go on in love, I’ll be right there with the bags,” Paul told me and opened his trunk. I smiled.
“Alright, but hurry up or you’ll freeze!” I said running to the house. I walked in and the heat felt incredible. I shut the door and took off my coat, dropping it immediately to the floor. There were candles lit all over the room (thus creating the light), and red rose petals scattered about, one path in particular heading up to the loft, in which Paul and I slept. I covered my mouth with my hand in sheer surprise and joy. I smiled as I immediately knew why he did this. This was my fantasy, and as he had his fulfilled, I didn’t have mine--and what a better time then Christmas? I took off my shoes, and walked carefully down the path of roses, leading to upstairs. I smiled to myself the whole time and made my way into the little room, in which soft music was playing. I walked closer to the bed, also covered in roses, and there sat a little note. I picked it up and began reading.

Olivia, my love,

Call me a romantic, but I truly believe
That it was no accident—me finding you.
I believe someone had a hand in it, long before we ever knew.
I lay awake at night and I just can’t believe you’re in my life.
I know heaven’s smiling down on me as I look at you each and every night.
And each and every night, I thank the keeper of the stars,
Because He sure knew what He was doing---
When he joined these two hearts.
I don’t know if you’ve really realized that,
I hold everything, when I hold you in my arms,
I’m amazed how it takes my breath away, just to look into your eyes.
I know I don’t deserve a treasure like you—you’re the ultimate prize.
In the end, I know I tell you, each and every day,
Oh how much I love you, and from you and I can’t be away,
But even though I say this to you, over and over again,
There really are no words--- to show my gratitude, for all you’ve done and been.
I end this with a shimmer of hope, for when you turn around,
That I will remain the happiest man, anyone has ever found.
Yours Forever,
Paul

My heart began to race as I wiped my tears away. I swallowed and set down the note, slowly turning around, to find Paul knelt before me, a little black box in his hand. Immediately I began crying, because I knew what this was. As I always do, I covered my mouth with my hand and closed my eyes for a moment, opening to see Paul smiling lovingly at me. He swallowed,
“Olivia Autumn Newton,” he started, “Being with you, has been the best time of me life. I’ve never loved anything, as much or in the way I love you,”
“I love you too,” I said softly through tears and he smiled.
“As much of a cliché as it is,” he laughed nervously, “I mean every word, when I say, I can’t go on without you. You’ve become a part of me, a part of me soul, “ he paused looking into my eyes, “I’m going to ask you tonight, with all the love in me heart, to please make me the happiest lad on earth and spend eternity with me--the man that loves you more than anything in the world,” he said and I burst out crying some more, “So, Olivia,” he paused one last time, “will you marry me?” he finished and through happy tears of love I nodded my head,
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” I managed to say. He smiled and took my left hand. He put the ring on my finger and I immediately dropped to my knees and embraced him for a hug.
“I love you so much!” I said still crying and laughing from joy. He breathed deeply.
“Olivia, you have just fulfilled the biggest dream I ever had,” he said kissing me, “I love you so much,” he said looking into my eyes, and then wiping my tears away, “Look at me, I’m still shaking,” he laughed looking down at his shaking hands. I sniffed and smiled, laughing softly.
“You were nervous?” I asked. He smiled.
“Hell yeah, you couldn’t tell?” he shook his head, “You know how I don’t talk all that well sometimes, especially when I’m excited about something, so I didn’t want to screw anything up. I’ve been practicing and planning this for a while now. Plus, there’s always that fear that you’d say no,” he laughed again.
“Oh Paul, I would never say no! I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with you since I met you!” I said laughing and wiping my tears away.
“Yeah, same here,” he said softly, running his hands through my hair. I closed my eyes for a moment,
“How long have you had this planned?” I asked him and he laughed.
“Quite a bit ago actually, before we went to Malibu--I thought I was done for when Brittany started asking me when I was going to do it,” he said shaking his head. I smiled and kissed him.
“I love you,” I said looking down at the ring, which was even more gorgeous than the promise ring he had given me years ago, and I thought that was the most beautiful thing in the world—it still is incredible. My—engagement ring---was once again silver, with a simple diamond cut diamond. Swirling around the entire rest of the band was little tiny diamonds in a row, “This is so gorgeous,” I said looking back up at him.
“You really think so? I wanted to get the perfect one,” he said taking my hand and looking at it, “I knew you loved silver, so I just had to guess on the rest,”
“It’s perfect, just like you,” I said kissing him, yet again. He smiled as he pulled away.
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of me life with you,” he said touching my face softly and kissing me again.
“Me neither,” I said. We fulfilled the rest of my fantasy, taking a bath with roses, (which especially after being proposed to was even more romantic), and before falling asleep in each others arms, we made romance. I dreamt this entire scene over and over that night, and couldn’t think of anything, anywhere that would make me happier. I was so in love with Paul and now I was going to spend the rest of my life with him—could things get more perfect than that?

Chapter 32