As always the days without Paul seemed to last forever.  For one I missed him terribly just because, but secondly I was anxious to go on our trip to Paris.  Paul was right, it had been a while since we had had anytime together whatsoever, and I couldn’t wait to be with him alone.  Again to no surprise, it didn’t take Paul long to call from Los Angeles.  He didn’t call the first night because of the time difference, but instead woke me up the next morning, which, eventually, I was very grateful for.  That whole night was filled with dreams about the last night’s event with John; I still couldn’t believe it actually happened.  As the phone rang, getting louder and louder in my brain I glanced at the clock through blurry eyes.  I groaned at the three red numbers glaring brightly back at me.  Aunt Jin was keeping Mary until later that day and it was my only chance to sleep in—tough luck I guess.

            “Hello?” I answered not aware at the time that it was probably Paul.

            “Hey love, you sound tired,” he laughed, “I didn’t wake you did I?”  I had to smile at the sound of his voice.

            “Oh no of course not,” I kidded, “I’m always up and ready by 5am,” I heard him laughing again on the other end.

            “I’m sorry, but you know me, I had to call as soon as I could manage,” he said.

            “How was your flight?” I asked knowing he must’ve just got in not long ago, considered there is was about 10pm the night before.

            “Oh it wasn’t bad, I met someone and talked almost the whole time,” he laughed a little.

            “Met someone?” I asked curious, “Female or male?”

            “Female,”

            “Oh,”

            “Oh?” Paul repeated with a hint of laughter in his voice, “Don’t tell me you are worried love,”

            “I’m not worried, I just, you know,”

            “I do Liv, and there’s no need to feel that way anymore.  You know how much you mean to me—you and Mary—you two are my life,”

            “I know,” I said knowing he would never lie.  I always hated myself for still feeling a hint of worry whenever he has contact with the opposite sex, after all we have been together now for over 6 years.  I trusted him with my life, but I don’t think the feeling would ever completely go away.

            “So how was your day yesterday?” He asked yawning.

            “Um,” I said suddenly remembering the encounter with John, “It was alright.”

            “You sound strange love, are you sure everything is alright?  Did you have a doctor’s appointment yesterday?” he asked sounding a bit worried.

            “No, I don’t have one until Monday,” I said, “Everything was fine,”

            “Alright, as long as you are sure,” he said obviously eating something.  I felt that I needed to tell him about what happened with John but at the same time I wanted to keep it to myself.

            “What are you eating over there?” I asked laughing and the crunching came loudly through the speaker.  He laughed.

            “’Orry, am I ‘eing ‘oud?”  I had to laugh.

            “I didn’t understand a word you just said,”

            “Sorry,” he swallowed, “I made some popcorn and it was really hot,” My stomach churned with the sound and picture of popcorn in my head.  That was something I definitely did not miss when being pregnant—the hunger cravings.

            “Oh popcorn…” I said longingly and Paul laughed.

            “Sorry Shniz, am I making you hungry?” 

            “Just a little, but I don’t have you to go get me some popcorn at the store,” I laughed and so did he.

            “Yes, I forgot about those little midnight trips to get you those weird foods,” he said and I could tell he was rolling his eyes.

            “Hey, you stop it,” I laughed and suddenly got serious.  I had to tell him, “So, um, John stopped by.”  There was silence for what seemed like 10 minutes, “Paul?”

            “John stopped by?  When?”

            “Um, last night sometime,”

            “Why?” he asked and I could tell from the tone in his voice his mood had changed completely, and I almost wished I just kept my mouth shut.

            “Oh, he, uh, was taking a break from Yoko again,” I said and Paul just grunted.  When he didn’t say anything else I continued, “He also just wanted to see us and—”

            “To see us?  Is that what he said?  That’s bull shit; he’s treated us like crap for the last few months, why would he want to see us?”

            “I know, I was surprised too, but there was more…”

            “Oh no,” I heard Paul say under his breath, “Love, I don’t like the sound of that,”

            “Um, maybe we should talk about this when you get back,” I said chickening out, “Yeah, let’s talk when you get back.  How’s the weather?” I asked quickly changing the subject.

            “It’s cold,” he replied.  We sat quiet on the phone for a few minutes, “Just tell me now,” he finally said.  I took a deep breath.

            “Long story short, he came over to apologize to me about the way he’s been acting towards me and that he…um…”

            “Did he tell you he had feelings for you?” Paul asked a bit angry.  I was surprised that he would suggest that.

            “Um, why do you say that?”

            “Because I’ve known the bastard has liked you for a while now, well according to you, that’s only what I was convincing myself—but I always knew deep down it was true,” he said getting angrier, “I just never thought the ass would actually say anything to you—what would be the point?”

            “I don’t know,”

            “Did he ask you to leave me and go with him?!”

            “No! Not at all, when he told me I got mad because I thought that’s what he was going to do, and I couldn’t believe he would do such a thing, but he said he just needed to get it off his chest and let me know that he really does care and never means what he says….”

            “That’s bull shit,”

            “Paul come on, how many times have you said things to me, or vice versa that we don’t really mean?  We’re just mad so we lash out…besides he said he wanted me to tell you too that, well, he misses you and loves you.  He says that he thinks that although this time between you guys are hard, he says that he’d rather have it like this and have the hope of being friends with you again in a couple years, then continuously trying to pretend things are fine and then just blowing up completely and ruining any change of re-friendship….” I paused, “Does that make sense?”

            “Yeah,” he said softly.

            “Yeah, that’s about all that happened,” I said suddenly remembering the kiss.

            “Are you sure?  After that he just left?”

            “Yes.  I gave him a goodnight kiss and he—”

            “Did you just say kiss?” Paul asked cutting me off.

            “Yes, but it wasn’t anything Paul, I—”

            “You were worried about me talking to some female on the airplane while in the meantime you were kissing my best, well ex-best, friend…again?!” 

            “No Paul it wasn’t like that!” I said frantically trying to explain it was harmless.  I could already tell Paul was getting very upset.

            “I can’t believe you!  Did you not see how much you hurt me last time?  And then, you weren’t even normal!  Imagine how I feel right now!” He somewhat yelled.

            “Paul, I said it wasn’t like that, it was harmless,” I started saying fast so I could get it all out before he interrupted again, “He said he wanted just one kiss to remember the girl that he never got or something like that,” I heard Paul breathe in on the other side, so I sped up again, “but anyway, so hesitantly, scared he was going to do what he did last time, I kissed him but that’s all it was, was just a peck.   No tongue, no other touching.  Just a goodbye kiss I guess, it didn’t even last 5 seconds,”

            “I think I’m tired,” Paul said after I was done and I sighed.

            “Paul please, don’t be angry,”

            “How can I not be angry Olivia?  We’ve been married for over two years now, and been together for about 6.  Why are we still going through this shit?” his tone seemed to lower down to more of a soft hint of sadness and exhaustion.  I knew he was right.  Why was I still getting worried and jealous when he was with other girls?  And why was he continuously getting worried and jealous with John?  And why did John keep coming around?  With my luck, pretty soon Davy would be standing at my door ready to say the same things John did.  My heart sped up with the thought—it was something Davy would do, but I prayed not.

            “I agree with you,” I said finally, “Maybe we need to get away Paul, and I don’t mean just Paris and maybe not even the farm…”

            “You mean like, move?” Paul asked.

            “I don’t know, I mean, I was just thinking that if we got away from all of this, things might get better,”

            “Well, I was thinking….”

            “Thinking what?”

            “I was thinking that, with the little money I have left since it seems that our accounts are going to be frozen for a while that—”

            “Wait, frozen? We’re going to be poor?” I asked suddenly scared.  We already had one child and another on the way.  Poor was something I never thought would happen when I married a Beatle.

            “No, love, not poor,” Paul laughed making me feel better about our little fight a few minutes ago, “I have money, you know, all the stuff I kept in the safe all these years, it seems I have over a million dollars in there, well you know, if it were American money,”

            “You have that much in there?  You never told me that!”

            “Yes I know, because I forget about it, and I never really imagined I’d have that much in there.  You know, we haven’t really ever had our own money, you know, the stuff we made from our shows and things.  We got checks here and there, which are what I’ve been saving up on, but otherwise it just goes on accounts and things and we just charged everything there, not really knowing how much we had,” he laughed again, “We just knew we had a lot.”

            “I suppose I did know that,” I said remembering, “So how much do we have?”

            “Oh we have enough,” Paul said, “But I was thinking maybe we could use that and buy a house over here you know?  Away from England,”

            “A house over there?  You mean in America or California?” I asked wondering when he thought of this idea.

            “Either, I mean America for sure, but not necessarily California,” he paused, “Though California is nice, and you’d be close to your parents and the girls,”

            “But what about your parents and friends?”  I asked and Paul laughed unexpected.

            “What friends love?” he asked and I suddenly felt bad, “I don’t really have any friends anymore if you think about it.  I mean yeah, I know a lot of people, but they weren’t really considered friends,”

            “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to,” I started.

            “Don’t worry love, it’s alright,” he assured me, “If we bought a house here, we’d have enough money to live on, but we’d have to start thinking about something that’s going to continue bringing the money in.  I don’t know how long our accounts are going to be frozen,”

            “Why are they doing that anyway?”

            “Not quite sure.  Something to do with our contract and Alan Klein.  It seems it doesn’t matter what any of us say anymore, so I just stopped caring,”

            “Wow, I always knew that one day the Beatles would break up, but honestly, I never thought it would be anything like this,” I said and Paul laughed softly, “It just keeps getting worse,”

            “I know and neither did I love,” he responded, “So have you talked to Brittany or anything lately?”

            “Where in the world did that come from?” I asked laughing.

            “Sorry, I was just wondering if you had talked to her, you know, thought maybe you could come down and visit while I’m finishing up, and then we could look for houses?”

            “I suppose that does sound like a good idea,” I said thinking it over, “I guess I could try and give her a call, it has been a while,”

            “Or you could surprise her,” he said, “You know she would absolutely go crazy if you did that.  Cor, she’s so dramatic,”

            “Hey that’s my friend you know,” I said laughing as I heard him laughing on the other line. 

            “I know, I know, but what do you think?  Wanna come down, over,” he laughed, “Wherever the hell I am?”

            “I don’t have a flight Paul or anything and what about Mary?”

            “What about her?”

            “Should I bring her or try to talk Aunt Jin into taking her for a few days longer?”

            “I don’t know,”

            “That’s no help you know,”

            “Sorry, um, ask Jin to take her for a bit—looking at houses might be easier without a one year old to look after at the same time.  And as far as flights, I already got you one,”

            “You what?” I asked surprised, “How’d you know this was going to—did you plan this?”

            “Sort of,” he laughed, “I just hoped I could convince you,”

            “Sneaky,” I said laughing, “When does it leave?”

            “Uh, one o’clock your time,” he said, “I have my hotel number written down on the table so you can just call when you get into town and I’ll come get you,”

            “What time will I get in then?” I asked thinking it back 6 hours.

            “About 7am my time,” he said, “Which means I should probably get to sleep if I’m going to wake up on time to get you,”         

            “Gee thanks,” I said.

            “No problem,” he laughed, “I’ll see you later on then?”

            “Alright,”

            “I love you, you know,”

            “I do.  And I love you too,” I replied and we hung up.  I lay back in bed and stretched quickly falling back to sleep.

            I woke up a few hours later; I believe it was about 9:30am.  I took a shower and got ready for the day, primping a little more because I would be seeing Paul later on.  I put on his favorite dress and smiled looking at myself in the mirror.  I felt good now, after talking to Paul and making the decision to leave for a while.  I really thought getting away from what we were used to would bring us closer together and help us start our own lives.  I had a few errands to run before the flight so I decided to do them now, stop at Jin’s and talk to her about Mary (we really had no doubt about her taking Mary for a few more days) and then come home and finish packing for California.  I was also quite glad about seeing Brittany and Micky.  I knew they still lived there for sure, but last I heard Sara and Mike were still in Texas, and I didn’t know much about Emily and Peter.  I locked the door behind me and thankfully no girls were at the gate today.  I got into the green mini Paul had said was “pretty much my car”, (as he preferred his Austin Princess and Rolls Rice) and headed off for the store.  Feeling good I listened to the radio on the way.  It wasn’t too much of a hassle buying the few make-up products I was in need of so it went quicker than I thought.  On the way out I caught glance of a little lemonade stand of a girl about age 7.  I walked over and she smiled at me.

            “’Ello ma’am.  Would you care for a cuppa?” she asked and I was confused being ‘cuppa’ was a term used for tea.  She beamed, “A cuppa lemonade that is!” she finished and I smiled. 

            “Well, aren’t you cute,” I said getting out some money as she poured me a glass.

            “Thank you ma’am,” she smiled as we traded money and the drink, “Taste it!”  I took it and sipped with a smile.

            “I think this is the best lemonade I’ve ever had,” I said and she giggled to herself.  I smiled walking back to my car sticking my bag in the back and carefully getting in the car without spilling my drink.  Again I started the car and headed off to Jin’s.  I had driven the route over a million times, either driving myself, Paul driving, or a chauffer.  In fact I had driven to Jin’s house so many times I could probably do it with my eyes shut.  The traffic was slow and the drive was smooth so it wouldn’t take me long to get there.  They were doing some construction and I slowed the car down as I came to a bump.  Apparently I didn’t slow down enough because some of the lemonade in my hand decided to take its new place on my dress.

            “Dang it,” I said looking down, but then quickly looking back up.  The road was clear so I looked down once more setting the glass in the little glass holder on the floor.  I reached over to the glove box, my eyes on the road and thanked God for Paul being so picky inside his car as I found a stack of napkins.  I pulled one out and quickly put it to the spot on my dress.  I got situated again and sat up straight putting pressure down on the spot trying to soak the lemonade out of the dress.  I passed a speed sign a little before an empty intersection and like always, I looked down to make sure I wasn’t speeding and I must’ve been putting some pressure on the pedal during my little situation as I was going well over the speed limit.  Shocked at myself I released my foot from the pedal to slow the car down a bit.  It was getting down to the right speed when I looked down at the spot again.  I smiled because it was barely visible.  Knowing I’d clean it up before Paul would know, I just threw aside the wet napkin on the vacant leather seat next to me.  Still smiling I looked back at the road and froze.  An object much bigger and faster than me was coming full speed from the left of the intersection—straight for me.  My mouth fell open, my eyes widened, and my hands gripped the steering wheel quickly going white.  My mind raced with thoughts of Paul and Mary.  I didn’t know what to do—it was all happening so fast.  Do I stop?  Do I swerve?  No, there wasn’t time.  I was going to get hit.  It was unavoidable.  I heard myself scream when the truck was three feet away from me.  A tear fell from my eye and before I knew it everything was black.