I woke up around 8am Christmas morning and peeked outside.  It was picture perfect as the snow fell softly from the sky, making everything white again.  I smiled and looked over to Paul who was sleeping peacefully as usual—his right arm placed neatly under his pillow and his other laying lightly on the spot I once occupied.  The covers lay gently across his bare side, almost revealing his entire stomach.  I thought about waking him up to join me downstairs, but he looked too adorable to do so—besides he didn’t get very many days to sleep in.  Instead I walked over to Mary laying awake like usual and picked her up.  I left the room quietly as to not wake Paul and went downstairs where I could hear current conversation.  I smiled as I spotted everyone in the dining room having their morning tea.

            “Happy Christmas Aunt Olivia!” Petie smiled running over and hugging me, “You too cousin Mary,” he patted Mary on the head.

            “And Happy Christmas to you Petie,” I said touching his head gently, “And to everyone else,” I smiled as everyone said their Christmas greetings as well.  I sat down next to Mike.

            “How was your night?” Angela asked me.

            “Very good thanks—and you all?”  They all nodded in agreement.

            “Would you like some tea dear?” Aunt Jin offered, “It’s quite fresh,”

            “Yeah, but I can get it.  I have to make Mary’s breakfast anyway,” I smiled standing up.

            “Well at least let me take her from you then,” Aunt Jin suggested holding her arms out.  I obliged and handed Mary off, making my way to the kitchen.  I heated Mary’s bottle and poured myself some tea.  As Jin was already holding Mary she offered to feed her, giving me a break.  I thanked her and sat back down feeling the warmth of the tea as I sipped it. 

            “Can we open presents now?” Petie asked anxiously.  We all laughed at his enthusiasm.

            “Now Peter, not everyone is down here,” Jim said.  Petie looked around the table and ended his gaze at me.

            “Aunt Olivia?” he asked.

            “Yes Petie?”

            “Where’s Uncle Paul?” he asked and I smiled along with a few others.

            “He’s still sleeping,”

            “Sleeping?!” Petie shouted being shushed by his mom, “How can he still be sleeping?!  It’s Christmas!”

            “I don’t know,” I said setting my cup down, “Shall we go wake him up?”

            “Yeah! Yeah!” Petie jumped up excitedly.

            “Peter, you should really say ‘Yes, Yes’—that’s the correct way,” Jim pointed out.

            “Yes Grandpa, I’ll try,” Petie smiled and I laughed inside remembering Paul’s story of their writing ‘She Loves You’ so long ago.  I still don’t think it would sound half as good if they yelled out ‘She loves you, yes, yes, yes, yes!’ 

            “Come on Petie let’s go get your uncle,” I said and Petie ran over to me grabbing my hand.  We walked upstairs quietly.

            “Aunt Olivia?” Petie asked me.

            “Yes Petie,” I said trying to enforce the rule his grandfather so much wanted him to get straight.

            “Why does Uncle Paul sleep all the time?” he asked and I laughed.

            “Because your Uncle Paul is a busy man and needs a lot of rest,” I explained, “However there is another reason,” I told him, “Can you keep a secret?” I asked him as we stopped in front of the door.  He nodded excitedly, “You have to keep this between us you know.  You promise?” I asked him and he nodded again.

            “Pinky swear,” he said holding out his pinky and I laughed.  It must be a McCartney thing. 

            “You really want to know why you Uncle Paul sleeps all the time?” I asked him.

            “Yes yes!”

            “Because he’s lazy,” I whispered and Petie giggled.

            “Uncle Paul is lazy!” he repeated a bit louder.

            “Shh, now, remember that’s our secret, you can’t tell anyone…especially Uncle Paul,” I said and he nodded,

“Got it,” he said with a smile.

“Okay come on,” I said opening up the door to our room.  Paul was still in the same position I left him in earlier and we approached my side of the bed to look straight at him.  Petie giggled.

            “What do we do?” he asked looking up at me.

            “I don’t know, what do you think we should do?” I asked and Petie smiled.

            “Scare him,” I laughed.

            “You want to scare your poor uncle?” Petie nodded big and I laughed quietly, “How are you going to scare him?”

            “Well, maybe I won’t,” Petie changed him mind.  He climbed up onto the bed and began jumping, “Uncle Paul!  Uncle Paul!  It’s Christmas!” he shouted.  I watched with a smile on my face as Paul woke up slowly from being bounced on the bed.  He immediately frowned because he hated being woken up, but the minute his eyes opened he smiled seeing Petie jumping on the bed.  He grabbed him, causing him to fall onto the bed in laughter.  Paul tickled him a bit with a smile.

            “What did you say?  It’s Christmas is it?” he asked as Petie laughed out hysterically.

            “Yes Uncle Paul, its Christmas!  We have to open presents!” he shouted and Paul stopped tickling him.  He looked up at me and winked as I smiled in return.  Then he looked back down to Petie catching his breath.

            “What if you didn’t get presents?” Paul asked him and Petie scrunched his nose, standing back up so he was more at Paul’s level.

            “Oh I did, I was good this year,” Petie said jumping again.  Paul smiled.

            “I don’t know about that,” he threatened,

“Uncle Paul I was!” Petie giggled.  Paul raised his eyebrow and sighed.

“Well, maybe before you will, but I don’t think Cringle would have liked you jumping on the bed and waking me up,”   Petie nodded.

            “No it’s okay, because she told me to—so she’s on Cringle’s naughty list,” he said pointed behind him at me.  I shook my head.

            “I would never,” I said and Paul just stared at me with a smile, “I’ve always been on Santa’s good list,” I said and Petie looked at me.

“Why do you say Santa?” he asked and Paul laughed.

“That’s just the American way of saying Cringle—it’s his other name,” he explained and Petie nodded looking a little confused.

“Aunt Olivia are you American?” he asked me and I nodded.

“Haven’t you ever noticed your auntie talks different?” Paul asked him and Petie nodded in realization, “But American or not, I don’t think telling your nephew to wake me up was a very nice thing to do,” Paul said standing up (thankfully he had slipped on his pants sometime during the night) and walking towards me.

            “Guess what else?” Petie said turning so he could jump facing us.  Paul stopped and turned towards Petie.

            “What’s that?” he asked and I stared at Petie as the smile on his face grew larger.

            “Auntie said you were lazy and that’s why you sleep all the time!” Petie shouted covering his mouth.  I smiled as he giggled when Paul turned back to me with an eyebrow raised.  I shook my head,

            “No I said he sleeps late because he’s a busy man and needs his rest,” I said defending myself as Paul got closer.

“She’s lying Uncle Paul,” Petie shouted laughing at himself.  I backed away from Paul and suddenly hit the wall.

            “No where else to go love,” Paul said with a sly grin, “So I’m lazy aye?  These news things I’m finding out,” he shook his head, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you now,” he said finally approaching me.

            “Uncle Paul I know what to do!” Petie said getting off the bed and running over to us.  Paul bent down and listened as Petie whispered.  He looked up at me a few times.

            “You think so huh?” he finished standing up straight and looking back and forth between me and Petie.  Petie looked at me and smiled, nodding.

            “Do it,” he said and Paul shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘I’m sorry’.  I squinted my eyes wondering what Petie had said to him.

            “I’m sorry love, but Petie says I should tickle you like I tickled him,” he said and I caught a glimpse of his fingers coming towards my stomach.  I grabbed a hold of them with my own and Petie ran back to the bed laughing and watching.  I shook my head.

            “Paul no,” I begged and he shrugged again.

            “I’m sorry, but Petie says it’s what I’ve got to do,” he replied pushing his hands closer to my stomach and I squirmed causing him to laugh a bit.

            “Please, Petie, don’t make him do this.  I hate when your uncle tickles me,” I said looking at Petie and then back at Paul who was grinning largely.  I felt his hand touch my stomach and I jumped, squirming again, but this time off to the side.  Paul laughed.

            “I didn’t even do anything but touch you,” he said and I just stared at him.

            “Yeah—yes,” I corrected myself and Paul looked at me strangely, “But I know what you were going to do,” I argued and he smiled shaking his head.

            “No you don’t,” he said walking closer, so our bodies were touching all the way.  I looked up at him.

            “Then what were you going to do?” I asked softly, though I knew the answer.  He smiled and leaned his head down to kiss me.  I smiled as I kissed in return, embracing him.  He pulled my waist so I was closer to him and cupped one hand around my neck as he pulled away slowly.

            “Happy Christmas love,” he smiled caressing my cheek softly.  I smiled, kissing him quickly on the lips.

            “Eww!  That’s not what you were supposed to do Uncle Paul,” Petie said from the bed, his nose scrunched.  Paul and I laughed.

            “Sorry Petie, but she’s got a hold of me, and I’m inclined to do what she says whether I want to or not,” Paul said and Petie rolled his eyes.

            “You’re whipped,” Petie said and Paul and I looked at each other totally caught off guard by his statement.  Paul turned fully around.

            “And where did you hear that phrase?” he asked.  Petie smiled.

            “Daddy say’s Aunt Olivia has you whipped,” Petie replied and I laughed still astounded.  It really is true—kids do say the darndest things.  Paul laughed.

            “He said that did he, guess I’ll have to talk to him about that,” he said, “But for now I have to deal with you,” he finished walking towards Petie.  Petie’s eyes grew large as he began to run, Paul easily catching him in one step.  Again I laughed as Paul had Petie in his arms, tickling away.  I followed them downstairs.

            “Well it’s about time!  We were starting to think you guys died up there!” Ruth laughed.  Paul stopped tickling Petie and just held him.

            “Nah, no one died.  Just trying to teach me nephew a few lessons,” Paul winked at Petie. 

            “Sorry for interrupting, but she only drank half of her bottle,” Aunt Jin said to me.  I looked over at Mary in her arms, “Is that normal?” I was about to speak when Paul did for me.

            “With a mum like hers who never eats herself—yeah it’s normal,” Paul said winking at me.  Aunt Jin smiled and I just looked at Paul.

“Yeah, she goes through spurts,” I told Aunt Jin taking Mary from her.  She nodded.

“I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t sick,” she said.

            “Shall we open presents?” Uncle Harry suggested.

            “Yeah!”  Petie shouted as Paul set him down.

            “Peter,” Jim said.  Petie turned red.

            “Sorry Grandpa, I mean yes!” he restated happily.  Paul looked back at me smiling finally understanding why I had corrected myself earlier, “Hey Grandpa?”

“Yes Peter?” Jim answered.

“How you let Uncle Paul say that in his song?” Petie asked on our way to the living room.  Jim looked over at Paul who just raised his eyebrows.

            “I tried Petie, but your uncle was a stubborn boy, and didn’t listen.  He thought it was better his way,” he said somewhat joking with Paul.  Petie laughed pointing at Paul.

            “Uncle Paul is stubborn AND lazy!” he giggled.  Paul pretended to lurch forward as if to grab Petie, making him dash quickly to the living room.  We just laughed as we made our way with the others and took our seats.  Paul didn’t sit down right away and began to leave.

            “Sweetheart where are you going?” I asked him as Petie already began handing out the presents. Paul smiled.

            “Don’t worry love, I’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared.  I shrugged and in a few minutes Paul returned, to my surprise, empty handed.  I paid no attention to it.  We did the circle of presents Petie getting a bunch of toys and clothes, and for everyone else little knick knacks they’ve been wanting or just things that seemed like something they would enjoy.  Paul and I got things for our house, and from Paul I got jewelry and clothes, and from me, he got clothes, a few new records he’d been wanting, and a couple things for his motorcycle. 

            “Oh wait, I have one last thing,” Aunt Jin said getting up and coming back with little pjs that said ‘Baby’s First Christmas-1969’, “Don’t you just love it?!”

            “Ah this is great Jin!” Paul said taking it.

            “It’s adorable,” I commented, “I was actually thinking of how I wished I would’ve bought something like that for her,”

            “Well there you go,” Aunt Jin smiled, “Every baby’s got to have one,” I nodded and Paul held it up for her.

            “Look at what you got Mary,” he said and Mary stretched her arms out to touch the unfamiliar object in front of us.  Suddenly the doorbell rang and we all looked at each other confused—except for Paul.

            “Who in the world is here on Christmas? And at 9 in the morning?” Jim asked frustrated and halfway up from his chair.  Paul held his hand up.

            “It’s alright dad, it’s for me,” he said.

            “For you?  Paul if you are doing your work…” Jim started and Paul laughed.

            “I’m not working dad, I promise,” he said, “But I do have to get this,” he left the living room and made his way to the door.  As he was gone I changed Mary into her new outfit and smiled.

            “Oh she looks adorable!” Ruth said.

            “I think it fits her perfect,” Angela put in and I nodded.  Paul returned from the kitchen with a large wrapped box.  He set it in front of me and I looked up at him.

            “It’s for you and Mary,” he smiled, “And you may want to open it quick,” he suggested taking Mary from me and commenting on her outfit.  Confused and curious, I pulled the ribbon tied loosely on the box and opened the top, gasping.  Inside laid a little black striped kitten with big curious eyes.  I picked him up gently and everyone else in the room gasped.

            “Isn’t he cute?!” Angela said.  I looked over at Paul who was smiling. 

            “Oh Paul!” I said looking at the kitty.  He smiled, “Thank you so much,” I said leaning over and kissing him for the hundredth time that day.  I looked back down at the kitty in my lap.  Petie crawled as close as he could and just watched.

            “Sure love,” Paul nodded, “I just know how much you loved your last cat, and I always thought it was so nice of you to give him to Emily even though you loved him so much,” he said and I nodded, “I figured now would be a good time to get you another one—you know as we’re starting a family and all,” I leaned over and kissed him again.

            “Oh that’s so sweet!” Aunt Jin said and Paul laughed.

“Thank you again,” I said and he smiled.

            “Your welcome,” he whispered, “I love you,”

            “I love you too,” I smiled.

            “Aunt Olivia can I touch him?” Petie asked.

            “I don’t know Petie, he’s awfully little,” Mike said.

            “Oh it’s okay Mike,” I said and Petie smiled petting the kitty very gently.  The cat meowed softly and walked as close to my stomach as it could and lay down.

            “Look at that, he loves her already,” Paul laughed and so did the others, “What is this power you have love?”

            “I don’t know,” I laughed and I pet the kitty, “Is Martha going to be okay with this?” I asked concerned.  Paul nodded with a shrug of the shoulders.

            “She should be.  She doesn’t seem to mind other animals… though she may want to play with him, so we’ll have to keep a close watch as he grows,” I nodded.

            “So it’s a male then?” Jim asked coughing.  Paul nodded.

            “Yes,” he answered giving his dad and look, to which his dad just rolled his eyes, “He was born just a few weeks ago actually, so he’s quite new.  They haven’t named him or anything,”         

            “Oh he is so adorable,” Aunt Jin said smiling.

            “Paul your going to make me have to buy a kitten,” Uncle Harry said and Paul and I laughed.

            “What should we name him?” I asked looking at Paul.  He raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

            “This is your gift love, so it’s your decision.  Name him whatever your little heart desires,” he said and I smiled looking down at the kitty.  I was horrible with names; I never could find one that would fit just right.  At least with Mary, I had Paul’s help—this was all me.  I looked around the room for ideas and I saw a copy of ‘A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream’ lying on Jim’s table.  I suddenly remembered the parody The Beatles had put on years ago, and tried to think of who Paul played.  I knew it started with a P, but all I could think was John’s character—Thisbe.

            “Thisbe,” I said out loud as the name stuck to me.  Jim nodded as if in agreement, coughing once more.  Paul and I eyed him closely as Ruth glanced at him saying something with her eyes. Jim shook it off with a slight shake of the head.  Paul turned his attention back to me and Thisbe.

            “Thisbe?  As in Pyramus and Thisbe?” Paul asked me. I nodded.

            “I like it,” Petie said, “Hello Thisbe,” he said petting the kitty. 

“What made you think of that?” Paul laughed, and then frowned, “And why didn’t you want Pyramus?” I laughed.

“Oh don’t take it personal—I couldn’t remember who you played,” I said and Paul laughed.

“Don’t take it personal!?  You don’t even remember who I was…you just remember John,” he said pouting.  I squeezed his cheek lightly and he laughed pulling away like a child who hates when his grandma squeezes his cheeks.

“You’re right, you should take it personal,” I said nodded and he looked confused, “I didn’t remember who you played, I only remembered John—which means I must like him better.  After all, I’m married to him, in love with him, and have a baby with him,” I said and Paul smiled shaking his head.

“You always beat me at me own game,” he said and I smiled.

“That’s what we do,” Angela said picking up some wrapping paper. We began to clean up the living room from the mess of the morning and Aunt Jin got breakfast started. The rest of the crowd had made their way into the dining room, leaving Paul and I alone in the living room.

            “Here let’s put him over here,” Paul said to me, referring to Thisbe.  He put down a pillow with blankets and a little water dish for him and I set him down.  Thisbe smelled around a little, but didn’t wander.  He took a few drinks of water, which was adorable, and lay down on his little bed Paul had made for him, “He should be fine over breakfast,”  I looked up at him.

            “You are so wonderful,” I said as he took me in his arms.

            “I’m only wonderful because I’m so in love with you,” he said kissing me, “If I didn’t have you, I’d probably still be the asshole I used to be,” I frowned.

            “Paul don’t say that about yourself, it’s not true,” I said and Paul laughed.

            “I used to agree with you, but as it’s so long ago, I look back, and it is true love.  We were all assholes—especially John and I.  The fame got to our heads and so we figured we could do anything—we sort of felt we owned the band you know.  We’d screw people over, take advantage of them, be rude—whatever we wanted because we were the bloody Beatles,”

            “Well if it matters, I never saw you like that,” I said and he smiled.

            “I’m glad,” he said, “I don’t know what I’d do if you had—you probably wouldn’t have fallen in love with me,”

            “No I would’ve, believe me,” I said kissing him.  We stood in the living room for a few minutes just being with each other when we heard a shout from the kitchen.

“Jim!” Paul and I pulled away from each other and just stared at one another before dashing off to the kitchen.  When we got there, Mike, Uncle Harry, and Ruth were kneeling surrounding Jim laying on the floor.  I covered my hand with my mouth as Paul ran over.

“Dad?!” he said loudly, “What the hell happened?” he asked not watching his language in front of Petie who stood clutching to Angela.  I walked over to Jin and took Mary from her so she could do what she needed to do.

“We were just walking to the kitchen and he mumbled something, and then collapsed!” Ruth said, “Oh Jim!  Wake up!” They all sat around shaking Jim’s limp body and I was scared to death.    Petie started crying.

“Mummy, what’s wrong with Grandpa?” he asked through tears.  Angela tried to explain taking him out of the room.

“I think we should call an ambulance,” Paul said frantically, turning to me, “Love call the hospital will you?” he asked me and I nodded running into the kitchen to the closet phone.  I reported what happened and they said they were on their way. 

“They’ll be here soon,” I reported back to everyone.  Aunt Jin was now also hovering over Jim with a wet rag on his head, as I just continued to stand a bit farther back.  It was only a few minutes before the ambulance was at the house and they rushed in putting Jim on a stretcher.  Paul and Mike helped the paramedics and in the midst of them talking to each other I caught the words, ‘not breathing’ and ‘heart attack’.  Paul was beginning to sweat and he looked white.  When nervous or very agitated or worried, he never seemed to stay healthy—he always seemed to feel sick to the stomach.  Ruth went out with the paramedics and Jim Paul and Mike following.  They stopped at the door and conversed with each other, eventually Mike leaving in the ambulance with Ruth, and Paul walking back into the house.  He walked hastily in and without a word to anyone went upstairs.  Angela came back out.

“Well, I’ve managed to calm Petie down,” she sighed, “Is everything going to be alright?” she asked.

“It sounds as though he may have just had a small heart attack,” Aunt Jin said shaken up.  Uncle Harry approached her and took her in his arms.

“Do you want to go to the hospital now?” Uncle Harry asked her and I wondered if I should check on Paul.  Aunt Jin nodded,

“I would like to yes,” she said then looked around, “Where’s Paul?  I’m sure he’ll want to go,”

“I’ll go check on him,” I said walking away.

“Olivia, do you want me to take Mary?” Angela offered.

“Are you sure?” I asked.  And she smiled with a nod.

“Of course,” she said, “I think I should stay here with Petie, so if you want to go to the hospital I’ll stay and watch the kids and Thisbe,” I smiled handing Mary to her.

“You’re sure?” I asked again and she laughed.

“Yes, I’m sure,”

“Thanks,” I said running a bit upstairs.  I walked quietly into the room and found Paul with his back to me sitting on the bed.  I shut the door behind me and walked up to the bed getting on it.  He turned his head slightly.  I knelt directly behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissing his neck before resting my head on his right shoulder.  He took my hands in his and kissed them, “Are you okay?” I asked quietly and he laughed softly.

“Why is this happening?” he asked me staring at the wall.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Why is this happening to my dad?  He was perfectly healthy, like me mum before she finally admitted she was sick and then died,” he said still quiet, “I can’t do this again,”

“It’ll be okay, the doctors will take good care of him,” I said and hesitated before speaking next, “Didn’t you say that your mom wouldn’t allow any medicines?” I asked and he nodded, and I noticed the glistening of a tear falling down his right cheek.  I rested my head closer to his neck and held him tighter and he turned and laid his head on my chest. 

“I hate this love,” he said, his voice muffled, “He already took me mum from me, why would he take my dad too?  I’m only 27, I’m not supposed to lose both of them so soon,” he said looking up at me, eyes slightly red.  I almost cried myself just because of the situation and seeing Paul this way.  He didn’t cry often, I believe I’ve mentioned that before.  Without saying anything I kissed him and he embraced me by my waist pulling me closer and kissing me deeper.  I pulled away and he kept his eyes shut as I kissed his forehead.

“Sweetheart, he’s not dead you know,” I reminded him and he opened his eyes and nodded, “And you know, I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve have heart attacks and turned out perfectly fine afterwards,” he nodded again.

“That’s true,” he said wiping his nose.  I smiled kissing him again and running my hand through his hair.  He smiled and even laughed a bit, “I love you so damn much,” he said touching my cheek softly.

“I love you too,” I replied kissing his forehead, “Angela’s going to stay here and watch Petie, Mary, and Thisbe and Aunt Jin and Harry are going to go to the hospital if you want to go too,” I said and he nodded.

“Yeah I do,” he said looking around the room.

“Would you rather me stay here?” I asked and he laughed at me shaking his head and squeezing my hand.

“No I want you to be with me.  It’ll be 100 times better if you’re there,” he said smiling.

“Okay,” I said kissing him.  We changed quickly and made our way downstairs saying goodbye and thanks to Angela.  It was a quiet ride to the hospital and when we got there we met up with Ruth and Mike in the waiting room.  Paul holding onto my hand drug me rather fast as he walked up to them.

“How’s he doing?” he asked and Ruth nodded.

“He’s going to be okay man,” Mike said placing a hand on Paul’s shoulder.  Paul nodded and hugged Mike with his free hand.

“So what happened?” Aunt Jin asked. 

“He did suffer a mild heart attack, but the doctors are almost 100% sure he’ll pull out of it just fine,” Ruth answered and Paul nodded.

“When will he be released?” I asked.

“They said they’ll need to watch him over tonight, just to make sure he stays stable,”

“And if he does?” Uncle Harry asked.

“Then he’ll be free to go tomorrow, but he’ll have regular checkups for a couple weeks,” Mike said and Paul nodded.

“Good,” he sighed, “Can we see him?” Ruth nodded.

“Yes, but only for a few minutes.  They want him to rest as much as possible, “Paul nodded and looked at me.  I smiled.

“I’ll wait out here for you,” I said assuming he wanted time alone with his dad, but instead Paul frowned.

“What?  You won’t come with me?” he asked me coming closer.

“Oh, of course,” I said, “I just didn’t know if you wanted to be alone or not,” I said and he smiled shaking his head.

“No, I want you to come,” he said and I nodded as we walked towards the room.  Paul entered me following.  Jim opened his eyes slowly and smiled weakly.  I smiled in return and Paul and I took a seat in the chairs next to the bed, “How are you feeling?” Paul asked.

“Just fine, it was nothing,” Jim said blowing it off.  Paul shook his head upset.

“No dad, it’s not nothing.  You can’t pretend things are alright when they aren’t,” Paul said sternly, “You know what happened when mum did that,”

“Paul, your mother was different,” Jim said and Paul shook his head.

“No, she thought she could make fine without things and she didn’t.  We all saw what it did to her…” Paul said fading off and looking down.  I almost began crying hearing the conversation between the two.  It had been a long time since Paul had talked about his mother—I think the last time was sometime when we had first met as he told me all the stories of her and how he would visit her after school and see her laying in blood covered sheets.  When it was just simple talk of ‘Yeah my mom passed away,” Paul was fine—he could hide his emotions from those he didn’t know quite well, but when he really got personal about the event he still got emotional to this day—13 years later.   

“I know Paulie,” Jim said finally, “I promise, things won’t be like that again,” he said and Paul nodded.

“I hope so,” he said then crossed his eyebrows, “But a good start would be to tell me when your sick instead of hiding it from me for weeks,” he said and Jim looked startled at first then laughed weakly.

“So who gave in?  Your Aunt or your wife?” he asked winking at me and I blushed.  Paul turned to look at me.

“It doesn’t matter who told me, the point is, you should have told me when you found out,”

“I know and I’m sorry Paul, I didn’t want to bother you and make you worry,” Jim said and Paul seemed upset.

“So you just wanted to risk having something happen when I’m way?  So I can come home to a dead father like I did with mom?” he asked firmly and Jim sighed as I squeezed Paul’s hand a tear falling from his cheek again.

“Paul you need to stop blaming yourself,” Jim said quietly and I suddenly felt awkward being here.  Paul shook his head.

“I should’ve been there,” he said, “You never know what could’ve happened,”

“Paul there was nothing you could do, or Mike could do, or I could do.  It was nobody’s fault—it was just her time,” Jim said placing his hand on Paul’s.  Paul nodded pulling his hand away to wipe his eyes.

“So you’re feeling better then?  Honestly?” he asked suddenly changing the subject.  I was surprised and by the look on Jim’s face he was too, but went with it.

“Oh by far,” he said with a smiled.  Paul nodded and stood up.  I followed suit.

“Well, the doctors say you’ve got to rest, so I should go,” he said and Jim nodded.

“I should be out tomorrow,” he said with a smile.

“We’ll be there when you get home,” Paul smiled leaning down and kissing his dad on the forehead.

“Ta kids,” Jim responded with a little wave.

“Ta dad,”

“Bye Jim,” I said and Paul and I left the room.  I continued to walk and Paul stopped pulling me back to him.  He leaned himself against the wall and pulled me against him kissing the top of my head.

“Don’t you ever do anything like this to me, alright?” he whispered and I was slightly taken aback with his question.  I looked up at him.

“Like what Paul?” I asked not quite understanding.  He ran his fingers through my hair and yet another tear fell.  He laughed to himself and wiped it away.

“Cor, I’m crying just thinking about it,” he said.  And I shook my head.

“Thinking about what?”

“If you ever get sick or anything, you tell me, you hear?” he said to me and I nodded, “If anything happened to you….” He faded off and pulled me against him again.  I hugged him tightly.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” I whispered.

“Promise me,” Paul said and I looked up at him again and his eyes looked so serious.

“Paul I can’t promise—”

“Please just promise me,” he repeated and I swallowed, nodding.

“I promise,” I said and he leaned down to kiss me.  After that we joined the others in the waiting room and headed off home, once again in silence.  We were all starving by this time, so Aunt Jin continued and prepared the traditional Christmas Breakfast planned.  At first there was little conversation at the dinner table but things started to pick up and get back to normal.  After breakfast Petie seemed to forget about Jim and started to play with his toys.  We laid Mary on a blanket in front of him and he played with her as well.  Paul and I played with Thisbe a bit and the whole day was just like that—relaxed and doing whatever we wanted.  The next day Jim was indeed released from the hospital and over the next few days he seemed to be back to normal—even getting out of chairs with no problem.  Apparently the doctors had given him something to help with flu he had and it must have been perfect timing, because as mentioned Jim seemed back to normal and everyone was quite happy to see that.

Paul and I left a few days after Christmas and it felt nice to be at home.  I called my friends and family and wished them a good Christmas as well, and talked a bit to everyone just to catch up.  Paul turned out to be right about Martha and Thisbe.  She seemed to want to play with him but Paul told her no, and she listened—at least for right now.  We set his bed and water and drink upstairs in our room so Martha couldn’t get to him while we were sleeping.  New Years Eve Day, Ringo and Maureen ended up calling and inviting us to their New Years Party in Highgate, London.  Ruth and Jim watched Mary this time as we accepted the invitation.  George and Pattie were there as well, but John and Yoko weren’t present.  I don’t know if they just weren’t invited or chose not to come, but personally I didn’t mind.  The party was a nice time—a time in which Paul, George, and Ringo seemed to get along just fine.  In fact the year itself ended well, despite the episode with Jim, though things were definitely looking up.  This was probably a good thing, because although I didn’t know it then, 1970 would turn out to be the worst of all the years I’ve been with Paul and been associated with The Beatles.  I had thought I’d experience bad times before, but they were nothing compared to what was to come.  1970 would turn out to be—the year from hell….